This the back of my latest WIP, hopefully it'll be ready for proper viewing soon, though I've had a bit of a hiccup in the colour-selection line. If I'd just stuck with the red it would have been fine but noooo, had to get all fancy and now I have to go back and rip it out and redo it. In pink. Because Hazel insists it must be pink. And considering how she's been behaving in the last couple months I'm damned if I'm going to fight her on it, it's too emotionally draining!
Everyone says the Terrible Twos are so awful, they even have their own name for goodness' sake. Then I was told that three is worse and I should just start drinking while she was two. Pfft! A walk in the park. I'm here to tell you that 4 may be delightful but 4.5 is frightful and I've never been angrier with her or more frustrated. Or more in love. But hoooboy, I'm glad I've got the 4.5 years practice under my belt because it's taking every ounce of self-control I have to negotiate conversations like this on a daily basis:
Me (very casually and following our usual routine): Ok, let's just brush you hair and braid it and then we'll go swimming with daddy.
Hazel: No. I don't want to.
Me: Well you have to have your hair braided otherwise it gets tangled in your googles. C'mon, just a quick brush and we'll go.
Hazel: No. I don't want to.
Me: Well we can't go until we've done your hair.
Hazel: But I want to go!
Me: Well let's do your hair then.
Hazel: No. No. No!
Me (in my laying-down-the-law-even-though-she-wishes-she-hadn't-started-it voice) Well we're not going to go swimming until your hair is done. What do you want to do?
Hazel: I don't know
Me: Well that's not an answer, yes or no?
Hazel: I don't know
Me: Ok then, we're not going
Hazel: BUT I WANT TO GO!!
Me: Well let's brush your hair.
Hazel. No, I don't want to!!!
...........................repeat ad nauseum for about 10 minutes until Hazel is placed in her room crying hysterically and I repair to the living room wishing the sun was over the yard arm. And we don't go swimming. I'm assuming it's a "stage" and that it's about exerting control over her life but geez, does she have to choose such illogical things to control? She knows they are too I think, which adds to her stubborness. Today we had an episode after which she actually came out of her room after 10 minutes and said she was willing to get dressed and go out now. Oh please please please let it be the light at the end of the tunnel!
Oh yes, we do this DAILY. We have our own 4.5 girl, and the need to control is so intense. She wants to make rules, she wants to tell me what to do, she wants to walk in front, she wants to open the doors, she wants to....gah :)
ReplyDeletehi, I'm with you on the 4.5s. My boy was an absolute charm yesterday morning, and then wicked, awful, tedious and heinous in the afternoon. tiring much?
ReplyDeleteI think it's also a bit about being in limbo - you know, desperately wanting to be a big school kid, devastated that friends are starting school first, but what will school entail anyway? it's all a bit much sometimes. at least in our household anyways.
I'm loving that I only just started reading your blog regularly, I keep being attracted by stuff you posted ages ago (love the 'you might also like' tiles) so I've just checked out your baby quilt. It's like an endless stash of little treats for me to read. thanks!
So nice to hear others are suffering too! If you know what I mean :)
ReplyDeleteAwwww thanks! :) It still feels a little odd to have people I know reading
ReplyDeleteit but it turns out to make it just a little bit more extra nice with the
comments.
I wonder if it's got to do with school or what it is. It started when we
both went back to Uni - Hazel to creche and me lecturing. Maybe it was a
coincidence, maybe not. She's equally excited by, and scared of, school. No
doubt there will be more stages to go through as the time gets closer!
Yes!!!! 4.5 is horrible! So is early 3. Yuck. Have not enjoyed those ages at all. 6 months until my next lot of 4.5....thanks for the reminder, yikes.
ReplyDeletehahaha, sounds a bit like us this morning; only difference was Daniel (almost 5) was going on about wanting to eat his second breakfast before the first was finished. believe me, I understand :)
ReplyDeleteI love you backwards linen stitching. Hmmm - something about linen, red, and that knotty stitch behind. Makes me happy. More please, any time you like.
ReplyDeleteI feel for you with Hazel. Mishi (3yr old) is fairly similar. Except that we use the threat of "won't be able to go and do such and such", and she happily says "okay, let's not go then, I don't want to go". I barely ever brush her hair - she won't let me. Thankfully she has the sort of hair that generally looks neat and shiny anyway. {Can I be jealous of my 3yr olds hair?!}.
Getting dressed is the harest thing in the world. Every morning is an issue of negotiation and tug-of-war, and appeasement and trying really hard to simply.not.scream.at.her. My husband, 5yr old son + I all battle with her, all taking up different angles when the other needs to leave the room in frustration! And I've stopped buying her any clothes at all - as if she doesn't like it, she will never wear it. Ever.
Please do let me know if you come up with any clues. Or, do I have to wait until she's 5, or 15?
Can't wait to see your finished stitching. Red or pink, I'm sure it'll be beautiful.
Hopefully once school starts she'll settle in, and change and love it. Brushing hair with pretty school coloured ribbons and things like that. Ari (5yr old - in prep year) is all about the school rules, and tucking in his uniform, that sort of thing.
ReplyDeleteI would guess that you going back to Uni has been part of the reason.
But really - kids are like that aren't they. Just wait til you spend sleepless nights trying to work out why she's behaving the way she is, and you think you've got the solutions. She'll go and fix it all herself, change it up on you all over again.
That's the thing about these phases, they pass as soon as you've figured it out eh! It's been the same since she was a baby. At the moment we're floundering a bit with it, hopefully we'll start to develop the right responses and help her past this stage a bit easier. I'm sure it's some deep psychological stage that has to do with controlling your environment and becoming more aware of the world around her and all we can do is ease the passage and hopefully not make it worse!
ReplyDeleteI so wish she was going to have a uniform but they seem to have moved away from them for primary schools here for some reason. I'm hoping they'll swing back the other way soon!
Sorry :) I know that sometimes ignorance IS bliss!
ReplyDeleteMan, not even a Hobbit would try and get their second breakfast before the first! My husband thought this was hilarious when I told him, odd how it's funny when it's someone else's kid being unreasonable ;)
ReplyDeleteOoo there's nothing worse than the bluff threat that doesn't work. Though I must say that for Hazel's it's often a case of thinking she can go in 20 minutes instead of right now and she gets very upset when she finds out the window of opportunity has passed. I don't think she's quite clued in on that concept yet.
ReplyDeleteI'm jealous of Hazel's hair! She said to me awhile ago "I have really beautiful hair don't I mummy? Everyone says so" and I was forced to agree that yes it's beautiful and yes, that's about the first thing anyone says to her when they meet her for the first time. Heaven help her when it gets darker, her ego will take a beating!
Hazel's getting better with the clothes, she used to be like Mishi so I can offer you hope on that one. Not sure about the other issue though!
ha, yeah it feels a little bit odd to read it given that I know you too to be honest - like I'm lurking. but I really enjoy it so I'm not going to stop - sorry 'bout that.
ReplyDeleteTraditionally primary schools in New Zealand, at least state ones, didn't tend to have uniform I don't think - they have only begun to be introduced over the last few years (okay, 10 - maybe 15 years from what I have noticed?).
Different things suit different people I guess - I'd love to send Toby to a school without uniform but all the local ones here seem to have them. then a little further afield, like in the foothills, they don't. People say things like - it would be so much cheaper if they just had a uniform, but seriously, I was looking over the uniform list from one of our local schools - we'd be looking at $450 to put together two t-shirts, shorts, sweatshirts and pants and one cap. and I think only having two changes of uniform is surely going to mean a bit of laundry stress. Anyway, Toby will love having a uniform, I will miss his fruity outfits but never mind.
None of the primary schools on the peninsula have uniforms (another reason to move here?) but Steph says Freyburg does so perhaps the trend is spreading our way. I don't really care about uniform for another couple years, but I know how horrible girls can be about clothes when they get older and I think that's when they come into their own. I would imagine boys are less focussed on that kind of thing so maybe don't get the benefit as much as girls. Of course there are always ways of telling the cool kids from the uncool ones even with a uniform but I think the pressures are less. My highschool was like a fashion parade every freaking day and it was very stressful at times - a uniform would have been a blessing!
ReplyDelete